Wedding on the Back Burner

I guess I should start this post by saying I am a jealous person. The boy and I were always planning to get engaged on our big trip to America and after going out for almost 5 years, we both felt it was time and were so excited. Then I got blindsided by his brother popping the question to his girlfriend even though, they hadn't even reached a year (she was pregnant though so, idiot me should have seen it coming). I am happy for them and, they love each other to pieces but, I feel like we're completely in the shadow of their wedding. I know, I know I sound horrible but, I just felt like being honest and airing a bit of my dirty laundry.

So their wedding is planned for February and ours is in July. I am of course extremely excited for them both and interested in hearing all the details. In fact, as a bridesmaid, I'm currently helping out with the Hens Night etc... But I just feel like I can't get excited with his side of the family over our big day :( In fact I was talking about everything with his Mum and, all she did was laugh and told me I plan ahead way too much (um hello, you need to plan ahead for weddings!). So even though I've bought the girls bridesmaid dresses I feel like I can't tell the soon to be SIL (the one getting married) and also the boy's sister because everything is about her wedding. It sucks missing out on that! I know it'll be different when their wedding is over but, I feel a bit bad counting down the days and wishing their moment over and done with.

Grr if I have one recommendation it is don't get engaged when someone else in the immediate family is because you do feel like you're chucked in the cupboard like a winter coat!

At least I can share the excitement with my MoH today though and I'm so excited to be doing so. Although the dresses look a bit crumpled and no where near as awesome as it did in the shop window (or done up to make my little sister look gorgeous)! Hopefully she can see the magic and I know the colour will make her look stunning.

Nightmares

Well my aim of finding a bridesmaid dress during the sales is drawing to a close. I was going to go hunting with 2 of the girls today but that fell apart because my MiL got invited without my knowledge. Don't get me wrong, I love her but, I wanted it to be a bridesmaids only excursion!

So now I'm trying to organise a proper shopping/lunch trip with the four of them in March (after the other wedding is out of the way) but who knows if that will go ahead, none of them are ever free at the same time. Eloping is sounding like a lot of fun right about now but I guess everyone goes through that stage.

In funnier news I had my first wedding nightmare last night and because describing dreams isn't the easiest thing I'll just highlight the odd bits:

• I was standing at the altar not the Boy and he was walking towards me (weird!)
• I was wearing this hideous lace long-sleeved dress and kept thinking at least the op-shop will take it
• My cousin was there even though I didn't invite her and I realised no one had rsvp-ed! So a minor melt down about food and place settings followed.
• Some random kids started shooting foam rockets at us and I started screaming

So all in all a crazy crazy dream but at least it wasn't a baby dream! I keep dreaming about a baby boy with brown hair (because the Boy is blonde and I keep teasing him that it's recessive)...I don't want that coming true for at least 2 years. It was bizarre the other night though because, I was talking to my MiL and she told me if I really want to get pregnant I should. She's starting to scare me a bit because the boy is still at uni, I'm currently unemployed (after being made redundant), we still live with my mum...the list of reasons not to goes on and on. It just really hurt me that she'd say something so stupid because she knows how desperately I want a baby and that's the worst kind of taunt ever. GRRRR in-law family members are not in my good books at the moment!

On a lighter night I want to post some of my New Year resolutions:

• Have a celebration every major holiday with my friends
• Tone my arms for the gorgeous strapless dress I'll be wearing (I even bought dumbells!)
• Move out of home
• Start the next step in my career

I hope everyone had a great Christmas and New Years (I know MRS. T did!)